All Along The Watchtower

Life has been one hell of a roller coaster ride for the past few days.
Dad came back from Africa.
Dad getting a new Job.
Classes duration increasing from 3 hours to 7 hours daily.
I took the left road.Not the right one.


Met up with my school friends as well as my new college friends today.Had a blast.I laughed SO hard that my stomach is still facing the Consequences.



But My classes ka notice really freaked me out today.
I'm going to have 7 hours of lecture everyday from the 9th of april.
Just for MHT-CET and HSC.
What are going to happen to my dream of getting into BITS pilani?
I actually thought i could finish the CBSE portion on my own.But this schedule just screws things up.Its screws things up BAD.


IIT,i realised, is not my cup of tea.I am have already wasted enough time to actually prepare for it.Plus, as i realised is that not getting in IIT is not that big a deal.Its just another institute now.Maybe it was not JUST another institute 10 years back.But it is now.


That reminds me, Dad gave me an hour long lecture on how I should study economics after 12th of i dont get into a good engg college. "That is another short cut to getting an MBA degree because thats what you wnat in the end of the day isnt it?" were my Dad's exact words.
He said " I have seen the world.And i know for a fact that engineers dont rule the world.The managers , and the economists and the financial analysts do."

Anyway, back to the point.Classes for 12th and MHT-CET for 7 hours a day.
Hell.

I am scared.I really am.
I am scared of becoming a failure.
Scared of disappointing my parents all over again.
Scared of loosing self-respect again.
Scared of people.Scared of people the most.

I am still losts in the woods.
The owls are hooting.
I can hear the tiger roaring.
The darkness is scaring me.
I am in too much of fear to wait for the sun.
My tears are my only company.

Why did i disobey my parents?
Why did i have to venture out in the woods alone?


People say that the night is the darkest before the dawn.
Is that true?