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Move On Up
2 years ago
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Of late night talks, exams and sniffles
Was up till 4 AM talking to him a few days back. We were chatting on about the school days. We didn't know of each other's existence then.I went on about how i was the "hyper" one is school who would run around singing "Staying Alive.. Staying alive!" and the one who would be stealing Gummy Bears from the candy store just for the heck of it ; while he went on about how he was the casanova of his school and how he was the naughty one!
Realised how much both of us have changed since then. Realised how much people around me have changed since that very same day 2 years back. Realised how much we've evolved, learned, experienced.. and also conviniently forgotten lots of other basic stuff in the process too.
Went a stood in the balcony for a few minutes after we said our goodnight's. The moon looked beautiful that night. But it was the breeze which threw me off. Never thought mumbai would get so cold one day.
I'm roaming around the house all day long with a shawl wrapped around myself and wearing socks to keep my feet warm. Making myself a cup of strong black coffee every 3 hours while i'm sniffing and sneezing away to what seems eternity. However stupid i might be looking, I'm enjoying the sudden change of the season!
Anyway,
Its that time in my life again where all eyes have turned to me.
I hate it when it's that.
With boards and my entrance exams coming up, it seems everyone is this house is carrying their patience on their sleeves and are very conviniently loosing it every 5 minutes. There is an anxiety attack every time i approach the TV or the computer. There is another 15 minutes long lecture everytime i reach for my ipod. It can get VERY infuriating... but atleast now i know better.
My parents are just worried so i don't screw up. So people around me can go look through all my faults and mistakes and just smile and say " She got a 90% in her boards you know! She cleared so many exams too!"
I, on the other hand, just dont want to let myself or people i love down again.
And also, I want to get out of this city and inhabit a hostel for the next 4 years. Just for some taste of indipendence for a change.
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*INDEPENDENCE =P
Now that the rudimentary Grammar Nazi-hood is out of the way;
Personally, I loved the cold. Once you control the involuntary sense of shivering, it doesn't really sting anymore, like every other involuntary emotion.
And don't sweat it. In college, everybody who takes science is going to get into IIT and be the state topper and invent India's answer to sliced bread and Jesus (or The Beatles...since they claimed to be bigger than him =P)
The truth is, the Big Fat Indian Dream doesn't matter much these days. There are a million ways to prove yourself to be better, rather than getting 90+ and going to a "reputed *coughbullshitcough* university in Texas". I mean seriously...you wanna go up to Shah Rukh Khan or Laxmi Mittal and ask them how much they got in the XIIth standard? People do the whole 'must-get-good-MARKS' thing because it gives them a false sense of security about their future.
Truth is, you could top the state and still get mowed down by a drunk, spoilt brat in his dad's sedan. To quote Homer Simpson: "It's the worst day of your life SO FAR."
I mean yeah, it's more of a personal happiness thing because your parents will be proud of you...but don't let it get to you too much at any rate.
Oh yeah...*CONVENIENTLY, *GOODNIGHTS, *LOSING (Hate me)
Just read your previous entry properly.
"I am so happy and content right now. Not coz of the "CCD" or the gifts...yeah them too.. but especially coz I know i have friends who'll last forever. They made sure i had a brilliant birthday.And Everyone who mattered .. called and wished."
*cough*
Exams are lovely little insignificant milestones of life. You might not think so now, but you will when you're my age (a decade older, minus three). But the reason you have to pay attention to them now is because life gets easier if you make it tough on yourself right now. So go ahead, concentrate. Get good marks, yes, but don't let your good marks insist that you attend an IIM/IIT or go anywhere without your deciding it. Go where you will, because you want to. If I were to tell you one thing, I'd say go travel. Go see the world. Don't go alone; it's a dangerous country, and an even more dangerous world (unfortunately, especially for a younger person). Go with a family member, someone older, and then, don't stop yourself from exploring everything and everywhere you can. Carry a camera, a blank book, a pen, and film rolls/memory chips. Record everything you see, hear, feel, experience. You will never regret it.
sigh! it feels young after reading you people. as for the comments, void has said everything i would have wanted to say, and in much better words.
cheers,
asuph
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