Thursday, August 03, 2006

Jaded

I was a back bencher in school.why i am suddenly a front bencher in college then? Isnt it supposed to be the other way around? And who the heck does Umesh sharma think he is? Just cz of his mistake i missed 2 math lectures "on record" while i had to go through the torture of listening to his bihari accent tell me stuff i already knew since the seventh standard.my life is such a mess.i cant sit anymore. my butt is aching to bad. this wooden bench sucks.

The class breaks into loud laughter.

I hope they are not laughing at me and my thoughts. Well, i dont care if they do anyway .

I think the English Prof. was impersonationg Prem Chopra from "bobby" , the film. Doesnt he have a life?

I doodle pretty well.I see i've doodled the words "I HAVE BECOME COMFORTABLY NUMB" on my disgusting english textbook.Its the same thing written on the T-shirt I have worn today.

I run into one of my close friend's boyfriend,outside college , on my walk back home. He is the most popular guy in college. People around him wonder why he is talking to some unknown loner ? well, they dont know we were pretty good friends too.he was my classmate. I give a damn to the girls throwing my "envious" glances.

My dad greets me with a " chalo, go bid sahil goodbye " as i enter home first time after 6.am.
OH YES , sahil bhaiya is leaving for the US today. He gave his GRE , and is going to US to do his M.s in University of brooklynn is it? BAhh, he is going to new york. Thats all i know. He looks excited. His rugged face actually looks clean now. OH, he shaved ! I shout a "best of luck" as he enters into the lift. My parents start with the usual "the boy worked hard and got his result. See shonai, u have to be dedicated too. Nothing is gonna happen if u listen to backstreet boys all day long"

I leave the room. First , why do the always assume i am listening to music all the time? and why do they think i still listen to Backstreet boys?

Life is confusing. Especially mine? Why dont i get anything i want easily? Why do i always have to work and strive double to achieve what i want. ITs not FAIR! why do my friends get stuff done eaily and not me? Why do they get to use the elevator while i have to go by the stairs?

I just read my friend's email. she movd to a boarding school after 10th. The boarding school is based on the american system , so she is having the time of her life. She was my closest friend since 4 th standard. Her brother is in IIT powai .( a dream far far far away frm me).
I miss her.

Some guy on msn is bugging me now.I think i should go block him now.

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight
And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me


"UNTITLED" BY Simple Plan ..(I really really like their songs.........)