Thursday, August 03, 2006

Jaded

I was a back bencher in school.why i am suddenly a front bencher in college then? Isnt it supposed to be the other way around? And who the heck does Umesh sharma think he is? Just cz of his mistake i missed 2 math lectures "on record" while i had to go through the torture of listening to his bihari accent tell me stuff i already knew since the seventh standard.my life is such a mess.i cant sit anymore. my butt is aching to bad. this wooden bench sucks.

The class breaks into loud laughter.

I hope they are not laughing at me and my thoughts. Well, i dont care if they do anyway .

I think the English Prof. was impersonationg Prem Chopra from "bobby" , the film. Doesnt he have a life?

I doodle pretty well.I see i've doodled the words "I HAVE BECOME COMFORTABLY NUMB" on my disgusting english textbook.Its the same thing written on the T-shirt I have worn today.

I run into one of my close friend's boyfriend,outside college , on my walk back home. He is the most popular guy in college. People around him wonder why he is talking to some unknown loner ? well, they dont know we were pretty good friends too.he was my classmate. I give a damn to the girls throwing my "envious" glances.

My dad greets me with a " chalo, go bid sahil goodbye " as i enter home first time after 6.am.
OH YES , sahil bhaiya is leaving for the US today. He gave his GRE , and is going to US to do his M.s in University of brooklynn is it? BAhh, he is going to new york. Thats all i know. He looks excited. His rugged face actually looks clean now. OH, he shaved ! I shout a "best of luck" as he enters into the lift. My parents start with the usual "the boy worked hard and got his result. See shonai, u have to be dedicated too. Nothing is gonna happen if u listen to backstreet boys all day long"

I leave the room. First , why do the always assume i am listening to music all the time? and why do they think i still listen to Backstreet boys?

Life is confusing. Especially mine? Why dont i get anything i want easily? Why do i always have to work and strive double to achieve what i want. ITs not FAIR! why do my friends get stuff done eaily and not me? Why do they get to use the elevator while i have to go by the stairs?

I just read my friend's email. she movd to a boarding school after 10th. The boarding school is based on the american system , so she is having the time of her life. She was my closest friend since 4 th standard. Her brother is in IIT powai .( a dream far far far away frm me).
I miss her.

Some guy on msn is bugging me now.I think i should go block him now.

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight
And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me


"UNTITLED" BY Simple Plan ..(I really really like their songs.........)

2 Comments (+add yours?)

Sid said...

Okay this may sound very very cliched but all cliches are certainly true.
Your time will come. Your place will come.
And hey what is life without a struggle?

Someone said...

Everyone has these issues but these get resolved with time.
And dont worry abt getting into IIT so much. Just work hard (this is hypocrisy on my end). As my friends told me "If I could get in, neone can". So cheer up