All Along The Watchtower

The first time my passport was made, was in the year 1993. Baba had just almost taken up a job offer which asked him and his family to move to Kuwait. In all the hurry, I had my passport made. Apparently, it had taken my parents quite a few hours to get me to hold the pencil straight, remind me of my sleeping and slanting lines for me to sign my name on the rectangle slot. (I just realized, why couldn't they have just made me ink my thumb print? Oh. Maybe they expected me to be more than a angootha chaap even at that age! *tongue in cheek*)

Well, the result? The letters of my names we're all jumbled up and at opposite ends of the rectangular slot. Thank God, baba didn't take up that offer and I didn't have to use that passport then.

I finally ended up using this passport of mine in class 7, when I made a trip to Malaysia with my family. Mind you, this passport photo Ashmita looked nothing like the then class 7 Ashmita.

Here, have a look. (This photo was secretly stolen, uploaded on facebook, liked and then ridiculed on by my absolutely lovely classmates! Hmph!)

The guy at the Immigration Counter had the time of his life chatting up this kid for ten minutes, about how the person in the photo was nothing like me, that I didn't have a coconut tree pony tail, and that I was cheating him and things. All with a smirk.

It took me a while to explain to my parents he was joking.

When my first passport renewal was done, I remember being rushed out of my prelim exam for a verification. My father, being one of the most law abiding citizens there ever are, was absolutely scandalized when I demanded an explanation from the police inspector as to why I was being referred to as a 'Minor'. I was 15! I knew all that an adult knew! (Or so I thought)

And now comes the latest story of my passport.

This time I was all pumped up, as my dad had told me the last time around that I would have to handle my next renewal all by myself. I did as much as I could. My visit to the Regional Passport Office, and my wait there even contributed in adding a last minute question on my Quiz that very day.

And then, Murphys uncle came to play. I am currently sick, and unable to ingest anything(to put it in pretty terms). It just had to be today the Police had to summon me, for a verification. After a two hour wait with the dog outside the cabin, I was signaled inside the cabin with baba.

"Naam"

"Ashmita Sengupta"

"Haan. Form idhar hi hai.....Call aaya tha aapko?"

"Haan. Kal shaam ko. Par abhi tak ghar pe..."

"Kitne saal?"

"Unees saal.."

"Nahi. Iss address pe kitne saal se ho?"

"Che saal"

"Hm. Birth Certificate kahan ka hai?

"Calcutta" ( My dad intervenes)

I look at him with 'Kolkata-has-gone-out-the-window-in-front-of-the-Marathi-speaking-Policeman-what? Look.

"Hm. Or yeh?"

"Yeh mera HSC ka xerox hai"

"Mumbai mein kitna saal se ho aap?"

"Unees- Bees saal"

"Haan. Toh aap kitne saal se iss address pe hain?"

"Che saal"

"Aas paas koi rehne waala?", he asks my dad

"Haan. Prabir Das. Unka naam aur phone number yahan likha hai"

"Kyaa? Praabir kya?" God. I feel bad. No one recognizes Oriyas

"Prabir Das. Hamare Upar waale flat mein rehte hai"

"Theek hai. Aur unke saath? Verification ke liye koi gaye toh? Rahega koi?"

"Haan. Unki wife"

"Unka naam?"

"Ranjita Das"

"Ranjitaa kyaaa?"

"Daaas"

"Unki kitni umar hogi?"

Dad is stumped. 'What? I am being asked of my neighbour's wifes age?!' look on his face. Herecovers quick, makes a quick calculation under his breath.

"Haan kuch 49 .. 50 age hoga unka"

I see him scribbling down her name and age on my application

"Theek hai. Toh kitne saal se rehte ho aap idhar"

"Che saal"

"Theek hai. Do photo de do"

He efficiently staples my photo my form. Looks my dad square in the face and says,

"Aapko house verification ke liya ghar bhejoo, ki idhar hi karlenge ?"

"Idhar hi kar do aap"

"Theek hai. Toh aap 300 de dena. Unka chai paani. Aur mera bhi"

*This is where baba asks me to leave the room while I see him take out a 500 note*

On our way to the car, I clarify. Will the police actually be showing up at our place now?

Baba smiles and says " No. But it makes no difference. Ghar bhi aatein, toh 300 toh phir bhi lete. Chai paani ka. They know we know the drill. So this is just cutting to the chase."

"But any which ways, you verified that form. So if any discrepancies occur with that detail of Ranjita Das and her age, as that is the proof of them making a visit, you shall be beheaded. Not me". He adds with a playful smirk. Rascal.

Still. I was a little confused to see a law abiding citizen, a proud PSU employee to be so cool with under the table money offerings. So I asked him again.

And boy, did the bangali erupt! He spoke about how the guys in the security force are horribly underpaid, and horribly overworked. They pull double shifts without getting paid for overtime. They get paid maybe a 4k -5k to maintain law in a country like India, and not an idealistic country like Japan or Norway. To the people who say "It is their duty", he replies with "Then where are you doing your duty to the nation, boss? Just because your job isnt directly related to the public they dont realize how much you slack off. You don't get to do some fancy sales job and earn 20k a month when these overworked guys get paid 4k to 'maintain the laws in the crime infused Indian society' "

Shameless as I am, I agree, I do not know enough about ANY of this to comment or take sides for that matter. But it does make a lot of sense to me right now, even though it is still odd somewhere on the back of my head.

Just makes me realize how horribly ignorant I am about so many things around me.

Any which way, it's been 7 hours since. And I haven't been able to stop laughing everytime I look at my dad.

My police verification to attain my new Indian Passport depended on my father's knowledge of his neighbors wife's age.

Who could've thunk it?

My first quiz.

I thoroughly enjoyed the whole process of framing questions, and actually standing up and receiving answers and the blatant guesses in room no. 207, although i now absolutely loathe Microsoft Power Point.

Have a look. And criticism is completely welcome.

This is something I would love getting better at :)